Love languages are a great way to build meaningful connections with all types of people in your life. They are based on the concept from Gary Chapman's 1992 book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Even after 30 years, relationship experts still believe that understanding love languages is a key factor when creating relationships.
Typically, people have a primary love language out of the five categories, which are physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts. Taking a personality test or love quiz may help you discover your own love language, as well as those of your partner, parents, and friends. The more you understand these languages, the better you can connect and effectively show appreciation to your loved ones.
When it comes to the love language of gifts, thoughtfulness reigns supreme. Ashley Starwood, a licensed clinical social worker, notes that small or large, expensive or inexpensive gifts that originate from the heart are what people who speak this love language desire and need. A professional sexologist and psychotherapist, Dr. Kristie Overstreet, asserts that presenting a gift is a tangible and symbolic way to express one's commitment.
It is essential to remember that the thought behind a gift is equally as significant as the present itself. Individuals that speak this love language do not value random presents, even if they are expensive. Additionally, they enjoy giving things as much as receiving them.
If you'd like to learn more about the other love languages, such as words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, or acts of service, there are plenty of resources available to help you. Additionally, you can take a free love language test to gain further knowledge.
Love languages are an incredible way to express your love and appreciation to a special someone, and gifts are just one way to do this. By learning your own love language and that of those close to you, you can create powerful connections and deepen your relationships.
Do You Find Comfort in Tokens of Affection?
You may place a high value on gift-giving holidays such as Christmas, birthdays, and Valentine's Day. You may also have a propensity to begin purchasing and planning for certain times of year well in advance of others. Moreover, when your significant other's anniversary approaches, you make sure to give them a gift that reflects their traditions. Nevertheless, unexpected objects, such as a cup of coffee or a snack, may hold enormous significance for you. You may like to give unexpected gifts to folks in your immediate vicinity simply because.
You are able to distinguish between gifts given from the heart and those provided out of necessity. You may feel offended if you receive a generic gift, but depending on who donated it to you and why, a nice, pricey piece of jewelry might still be important. Similarly, you may feel especially valued if your lover spends lavishly on a romantic date.
Your gift-giving skills may be admired by many. You are able to locate unique and treasured goods for the receiver. Also, you might keep small trinkets and mementos that remind you of particular persons or experiences. It is likely that you have dried and placed flowers in a book to remember a special occasion.
Misconceptions About the Gifts Love Language
One of the common misconceptions is that those who enjoy receiving gifts are materialistic or greedy. However, this is not the case at all. Instead, it is about the energy and effort that someone put into finding the perfect thing for you, and the physical representation of the bond that it symbolizes.
It is also important to note that we do not get to choose our love language, rather it is something that is picked for us. Our language is partially based on how we were shown love as a child, and how emotionally tied we are to those actions.
Moreover, expensive and extravagant gifts are not necessarily necessary for someone with the gifts love language. Small tokens, such as shells from a beach trip together or cookies from a local bakery, work just as well. Still, for important occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, something more meaningful can be given, such as a handmade photo album, a compilation of videos, or a Spotify playlist of meaningful songs. Everyone's preferences of what they would like to receive vary, so it is important to communicate openly and understand an individual's desires.
When it comes to dating someone whose love language is gifts, money isn't the only thing to think about. According to Starward, the idea is to show your partner how much you value the relationship and that doesn’t always require a high budget. In fact, making an effort to make a thoughtful gesture can mean more than expensive items. Dr. Overstreet suggests listening to what your gifts person likes, needs or is interested in and getting creative. It’s a way to show that you’re thinking about them and genuinely care.
When approaching important days like a partner’s birthday, for instance, try to remind yourself a few weeks before so you can find the best present. Holidays and anniversaries are also good times to gift something, but surprise presents are also a great way to show your affection.
But what gifts should you get? Well, that depends on the individual, says Michelle. Pay attention to the type of presents your partner gives you and try to replicate that. Here are a few ideas that don’t require spending too much: tickets to a drive-in movie (plus snacks!), a candle in their favorite scent, a Christmas ornament from each place you visit, the book they’ve been talking about, or a flower straight from the garden.
Above all, remember to be thoughtful when it comes to picking a present. Nothing is worse than getting a meaningless gift. If you cannot think of anything, it’s perfectly fine to ask your partner what would make them feel special. Communication is key when it comes to relationships and it’s no different when it comes to expressing love through gifts.
If Giving Presents Is Your Love Language
Although it is one of the most socially accepted love languages, Dr. Lurve warns that providing or receiving gifts can easily ignite conflict if not communicated properly. She advises to make it clear to your partner so as to avoid feelings of disappointment or thinking that you are not being loved.
Also, it is a good decision to tell your partner some gift ideas that make you feel loved. Some people are not so talented when it comes to gifting, and this will help to give a bit of guidance and take away any fear or anxiety that they may have around the task of finding the perfect present.
It is also essential to have a discussion about your individual budgets, as well as any expectations you may have regarding gifts. Money is a common source of stress in relationships, and understanding what is economically feasible for your partner can give you an emotional perspective. Lastly, do not forget that it is not only your partner's responsibility to fulfill all your needs when it comes to love. Michelle also reminds us to treat ourselves if receiving gifts is your love language.
What to Do if You and Your Partner's Love Language Differ?
No need to worry if you and your partner's love language is different. According to Dr. Overstreet, the vast majority of couples do not share the same love language. That being said, having the same love language is not a necessary factor to have a long-lasting relationship. Instead, the key is to practice clear communication and learn to express your partner's love language. Dr. Overstreet states that the focus should be on expressing love in a way that your partner will appreciate, rather than focusing on receiving the love that you want.
During this learning process, it is important to show your appreciation for the way your partner expresses love to you. Also, don't forget about your partner's love language; knowing how your partner naturally demonstrates their love for you can help to create a much stronger connection.
At the end of the day, Dr. Overstreet encourages open communication, empathetic listening, and showing your partner the love they desire.
Do you wish to speak the language of love? If so, understanding the Acts of Service Love Language is essential. It can be tricky, but we have compiled some great ideas and examples to help you express your adoration in a way that your special someone will appreciate.
Recently, we purchased The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, by Gary Chapman and read it from cover to cover. We found that my primary love language was Words of Affirmation, and my husband’s was the Act of Service.
Before this, we did not recognize the difference in our love languages and I was regularly telling him that I love him. This was not enough, however, and luckily we discovered our true love languages through taking a quiz and reading the book.
In understanding my husband's need for acts of service, I decided to ask him what kind of things would really show him that I cared. Most of his responses were quite basic, but they all showed that he needed to feel my thoughts and kindness.
To help anyone else who might be struggling with this same issue, we have compiled a list of 101 acts of service ideas, to show your partner the depths of your love. Whether it is for a special occasion or just to show them you care, these acts of service will demonstrate your appreciation for your partner.
What are The 5 Love Languages?
Developed by Gary Chapman, the Five Love Languages is a book that addresses communication and how to demonstrate love in a way that the recipient can feel it. In short, the Five Love Languages are:
Acts of Service Words of Affirmation Receiving Gifts Quality Time Physical Touch
What is the Acts of Service Love Language?
As the name implies, the Act of Service Love Language is when people feel most loved when someone is doing things for them. This is not to say that you should be their slave or do everything for them but more to show them that you care and are thinking of them.
Acts of Service don’t have to be big sweeping gestures, but can be small everyday luxuries. It is all about the little things that can make someone’s day a little brighter.
What is your Love Language?
Before you can begin to express your love in the right way, you and your partner need to understand what your Love Language is. To do that, you need to take the Love Language Quiz.
